i am more.

"I am more." This drawing is made up of words that I, or my friends, would use to describe myself. Some of them are things that I can't control - like the fact that I was adopted, am very short and was homeschooled. Other words pertain to my hobbies and things that I enjoy, such as knitting, playing piano, and writing letters to my friends. Some of them are true, but silly - like "chocoholic" and "the opposite of a green thumb." Some words have to do with my personality - cautious, introverted, sensitive, and easily excited. There are a few words that are more serious - such as depressed, anxious, and obsessive compulsive. 

All of the words on this page are aspects of me. Without any one of the words listed, I would not be who I am today. Of course, some of the words carry greater weight than others - if I didn't love sloths, I probably wouldn't have a three foot plush sloth in my closet, but it would not affect my life that much. If I didn't struggle with depression, however, I might not be planning to study psychology in college. 

The only words I did not include were those that pertain to my faith. This was purposeful. It can be very easy to form our identity around our jobs, our hobbies, or even our mental illnesses, but this is very dangerous. I made this drawing to remind myself that these are only small parts of who we are - we are so much more than our jobs, hobbies, or illnesses. In reality, those are only single words on a page full of words. Ultimately, our core identity can only come from our place in Christ. Otherwise, even our greatest dreams - for me, becoming a mother and a counselor - will still leave us feeling empty. Your experiences, personality, past, hopes, and dreams are incredible elements that make up the beautiful, fragile, incredible being known as "you." But they must be founded upon who you are in Christ - loved by God, made by God, and created to glorify Him. 

Originally, I made this drawing to remind myself that my mental illness is only a small part of me. But it ended up being more than that - it was a chance for me to think about myself from someone else's perspective, too. As someone who has very low self-esteem, I felt uncomfortable placing words like "loyal" and "smart" onto the page. To be honest, I wasn't even pleased with the end result, since some of the letters slant towards the middle of the paper. I planned to redo the entire picture (did you notice that "perfectionist" is one of the words?), but then I got distracted by some of my other projects.

Even if you don't struggle with mental illness, I encourage you to make a list of the words that make up "you" - for me, it was a celebration. I don't mean this in an egotistical sense - it was a chance for me to see all the people and things God has placed in my life that formed into who I am today. Though in the long run, many of these words are trivial, I am excited to see how these words will change in the future as I continue to grow, learn, and change to be more like Jesus.