Day 17/31 of Self Love

Read this post for an explanation!

My Definition of Self Love - Learning not to hate yourself; being okay with past mistakes, but not repeating them; refusing to use current failures as fuel for self-hate and instead using them as opportunities to improve; and reminding yourself, "You are loved, you are valuable, and you are God's child."

I buy a lot of small things for myself, especially if I am stressed. I'm not sure if that really counts as "indulging myself" though, since I don't really do it to encourage or reward myself - I think my spontaneous spending habits are my mind's attempt to maintain control over something, even if it's just a few dollars.

However, last month I bought a ticket to see my favorite musical, Dear Evan Hansen* on its first national tour. I had saved up my babysitting money from August - January, but even though I could afford it, I still felt guilty spending so much money on myself. In fact, I almost backed out. But in a little over two weeks, I'll be taking the train downtown for the experience of a lifetime, and I can't wait! One of my best friends is coming with me; we are going to dress up, go out to eat, and hopefully not freeze our butts off.

* It's only the best musical ever - also proof that you can write a story about mental health, depression, and suicide in a way that's gracious and beautiful and raw without risking the suicide contagion effect. That being said, I think the story can definitely be triggering and it's important to take your own mental health into account before you read, watch, or listen to anything - but I also believe that Dear Evan Hansen handles unpopular and uncomfortable subjects in the most graceful way possible.