Day 10/31 of Self Love

Read this post for an explanation!

My Definition of Self Love - Learning not to hate yourself; being okay with past mistakes, but not repeating them; refusing to use current failures as fuel for self-hate and instead using them as opportunities to improve; and reminding yourself, "You are loved, you are valuable, and you are God's child."

This is something I've actually improved upon over the past year-and-a-half. I discovered it's very hard for me to say "no", particularly in person or over the phone, so instead of answering "yes" before I've even processed the request, I try to say, "I'll think about it." Although there are plenty of times when I've said "yes" and immediately regretted it, these times are still noticeably fewer than before. J has pointed out that I try to take everyone's problems onto myself - taking a shift at work, driving someone home, comforting someone who is hurting - when often, these are not my problems to solve. If I try to fix every problem presented to me, I will only end up frustrated and eventually resentful. Ironically, there are many instances in which saying "no" has done more to preserve my relationships than saying "yes" ever did.

In answer to Day 10's question, I need to continue what I am already doing. I also need to be careful in my friendships that I don't unfairly make people my "project," taking all of their problems, struggles, and hurts onto myself. I may be put in their life to encourage them and help them heal, but I can't view their successes as my achievements and their failures as results of my faults. I can simply love them, and that has to be enough.