broken strings and slumbering chords

Fall 2015

I didn't plan to go to college. 

In fact, most of you don't know I'm currently taking classes. It was all a bit of a whirlwind - the application process is fuzzy in my mind. But this particular school had been sending me promotional material ever since I was a preteen, and they were very convincing. It's a huge school with too many students to count, though I wouldn't describe call it prestigious. Most Americans don't really talk about it because it's not the type of school that you'd mention in your high school graduation speech or brag about over Thanksgiving dinner.

I don't know if I'd say I chose the college - I think the college chose me. Before I knew it, I had moved in, decorated my dorm room, and begun taking classes. I liked my professors - they focused on me as a person, so much so that all I could think about was myself. Life got pretty busy - I still went to church and I hung out with my friends occasionally, but I spent most of my time studying my notes. 

Though there are quite a few options at Plummet University, with the help of Professor Self-Pity, Professor Worry, and Professor Self-Focus, I chose my degree... a major in depression with a minor in anxiety.

* * *

That's right, the almost-twenty something with her whole life ahead of her, who adores drinking Starbucks, has fallen off chairs laughing, is heavily involved with ministry, has a strong Christian family, and is head over heels in love... lives with depression and anxiety.

It's something over forty million American adults struggle with, yet it's something over 200 million Americans don't want to deal with. Churches rarely talk about it. Families seldom discuss it unless circumstances force them to. It a prevalent, but prevalently ignored, problem. And that's just depression. There are many other mental illnesses that most people refuse to acknowledge.

Part of this blog will be my response to the taboo of mental illness - in my case, depression. I'm just one voice and just one blog, but I will share my struggles and my victories. With God's help and His power alone, He will help me to see His love and grace through it all.

* * *

I'm leaving Plummet University. I've packed up my bags and cancelled my classes. I know they'll try to get me to come back, and I'll probably end up spending some time there in the future. But as of today, I'm leaving.