wandering lost

Originally posted July 25, 2015

"Not all those who wander are lost."

I love Lord of the Rings. I've read the books, I quote the movies, I collect Tolkien-related merchandise... one of my favorite quotes is the one listed above. At first, I loved the quote just because it was Tolkien. But then I realized how much it made me think of myself, and through my senior of high school, it was basically my theme.

Nearly a year ago, I wrote a rather blunt post called, "Follow Your Dreams (Unless We Don't Approve of Them)" - about how I didn't feel called to go to college, but how I did have lots of post-graduation plans. I wrote, "Sometimes I think people are worried I'll become some sort of couch potato bum. But I'm pretty sure my parents won't let that happen to me. I hope to learn more about housekeeping and cooking; I hope to work on my latest novel; I hope to have time to disciple some of the younger ladies in my life; I hope to continue playing music on the praise team at my church, and much more. I won't be bored. So why worry about me?" I sounded so convincing, but as I wrote the post, I still felt lost. I had lots of plans and ideas, but I was still a bit apprehensive.

Not all those who wander are lost.

Hardly any of the things I wanted to do after graduation actually happened. Life kind of got in the way. I got a job, which has been challenging at times, but has also been a great financial blessing. And then of course I spend a lot of time talking to my person and investing in our relationship. :) But sometimes I still feel a bit lost.

According to Tolkien, sometimes it's okay to wander. Sometimes we have to try things, to experiment, to go on an adventure. We're haven't lost our way, we're simply exploring.

Lately I feel as if I've been wandering lost. I know I need to step out and adventure, but I'm scared to. So instead I stay close to what I know, repeating the same mundane tasks, and wondering why I feel like I'm doing nothing.

Maybe it's time to explore a bit. Maybe it's time to wander more purposefully. My anchors are, of course, my faith in God, my family, and my best friend. My anchors will keep my safe and call me home. But maybe it's time to step out in faith a bit and see what God wants me to do for Him.